. thinkr . | by Fadhilah H

Clear Lake Islamic Center

2012-01-08T23:29:00.000+08:00

a lost soul must be in constant need of finding its Creator. always.

twenty-twelve

2012-01-07T06:05:00.001+08:00

insyaAllah, i'll be either going to the States or to UK (preferably on summer) this year. i hope everything will be ok and i manage to do it. Allhamdulillah. there are so many things for me to be thankful for. :)

How to Unlock the iJannah - Suhaib Webb

2012-01-07T05:57:00.001+08:00

a good thing to start your day with. ;)

p/s: i blog using tumblr now. but i still love this blog. so i'll post something here from time to time to keep it alive.

2011-12-26T21:21:00.000+08:00

i'm back

2011-09-28T21:18:00.002+08:00

yeah, i'm back. blogging with this old blogspot instead of tumblr. because i find my tumblr has too many followers. not a close one. hehe. so i guess i should be blogging even more frequent after this. my previous entry was in january 2011. i found that all the entries prior to that were depressing, dark, and unhealthy. not that now i have healthy mind. haha! oh yeah, a lot of things happened between january - september. im not gonna highlight about the sad things. not in the mood to recall those unhappiness and dark and gloomy side of my life, yet.

the most important thing that happened to me this year was, my umrah trip. alhamdulillah. im looking forward for more of those trips. and looking forward for hajj too. :) oh yes, by the end of this year, insyaAllah i'll be having one more achievement. O Allah, please grant me your blessing. amiin. ;D

of course there are a lot things to tell. but i cant right now. i'll be back to tell them in the next entry.

trash talker

2011-01-29T17:16:00.001+08:00

i find that entries this blog are getting crappier than ever. this blog used to be a place where i share my thought. but now i use it as a place to shout. the word 'thinkr' doesnt fit the purpose of the blog anymore. so i created another account. a place where i can put all the crap.

http://fadhilah-h.tumblr.com/

or should i retain all the crap here and put thoughtful post in my tumblr? hehe

kosong

2011-01-17T20:54:00.009+08:00

pernah tak rasa macam dunia ni tak pernah mendengar?
pernah tak rasa yang dunia ni seakan-akan buta?
pernah tak rasa semua itu sia-sia belaka?
pernah tak rasa dipergunakan?
pernah tak rasa seperti halimunan walaupun secara jelas dan nyata kamu wujud?
pernah tak rasa hampa?
pernah tak rasa disaingi walaupun kamu bukanlah saingan?
pernah tak rasa dibenci walaupun kamu tidak pernah membenci?
pernah tak rasa dikhianati walaupun kamu telah penat memberi?
pernah tak rasa 'tolonglah bagi aku chance pulak!!!'?
pernah tak rasa kosong macam tu?
pernah tak rasa nak marah dengan semua itu?
pernah tak rasa sangat depress dengan semua itu?
pernah tak???

ps: penulis sgt pissed off. sila jangan kacau atau bertanya sebarang soalan. sebarang soalan tidak akan dilayan.

good bye 2010

2011-01-01T15:54:00.010+08:00

http://www.flickr.com/photos/fadhilah/5308465293/

Hoping for a brighter, better, meaningful and merrier 2011.

Mahu banyak jalan-jalan tahun ini dan membawa diri. sekian.

rainy days (in 2010)

2010-12-14T21:05:00.037+08:00

it's raining outside, can i have an umbrella?

I have been quiet lately. After coming back from Alor Star attending a wedding of my friend, i have this mix feeling (i.e happy and sad). Happy because she is finally married to the love of her life after so many obstacles (memandai je tambah sendiri) but at the same time I could not contain this sad feeling. Sad because this is going to be the last wedding of my classmates that i desperately wanted to attend. There will be no more the most awaited wedding after this.

To those who are close to me (esp those from Kulliyyah of Pharmacy, IIUM), i need not to elaborate further on this matter. Yes, people come and people go. But some have created an impact in the life of others. She was gone. Yes, a close friend of mine passed away last April. It was so sudden and everybody was shocked. I'm never prepared for it. For the loss. Loss is tiresome. Loss is exhaustive.

Really.

Tiring up to the point that you wished for someone to murder you to erase the feeling (nauzubillah). The feeling is like tidal waves. It keeps coming back when i just about to forget it. It lingers there when I least expecting it. I don’t want to remember her for the time being (because it will make me sad) as much as I miss her and wanting to talk about her. I haven’t finish grieving. It only gets less intense in time. I can't imagine how those who had loss their love one or child coping with this kind of feeling.

This is a kind of lesson that i believe HE is trying to teach me. To be stronger than before. For me to be closer to Him. To remember Him more. To be reminded of death often. That death is closer than what you think. And for me to do my best in whatever I do. This might be the lesson that He wanted me to learn from this loss.

However, one of the things that i can't stand last few months was to experience the difficulty to fall asleep despite the long interval after the loss. If you'd noticed, I'd been complaining a lot about it lately. It was really hard for me to fall asleep. Everytime I was about to sleep and close my eyes, I have this feeling and thought, that what if I never wake up after this. It's so annoying and it's embarassing to admit here. Believe me, it was hard to sleep because of this fear. It started somewhere before fasting month and it did not go away eventhough i was away in my hometown. It did not resolve not even on the night of Hari Raya. I can't hardly fall asleep every night. Do you have any idea how freaking serious it was? I tried many things to resolve this, and reached for many to help me. Alhamdulillah, it resolved.

Now coming back to the wedding in Alor Star, it’s heart-breaking to hold your tears when at the same time all you have to do is to put a bright smile on your friend's wedding day. It’s hard not to think about her on that day. It’s hard not to have a flashback of happy moments of another wedding which all of us attended together last year in Melaka. It is hard to think about something and not relating them with her on that day.

Tears fell freely. I wept them alone.

But don’t worry. I’m fine as long as I don’t think about this. What I mean is to really really think about this. I’m not quite sure if I’m going to write about this again in future. But if I do, would you care to help me resolve this feeling? Or would you be bored with this?

May Allah bless you, Zarina.
May we meet again. Amiin.

Ps: 2010 will always be a year to remember.

2010 in review part I

2010-12-01T19:00:00.025+08:00

i can't restore my brain to default setting.
my mood is very unstable lately.
ok, i want to do 2010 in review right now (in terms of photography and career) eventhough we still have 30 days to go for 2010.

2010 is indeed a great year for me.

i was invited to be a speaker for;

1 Good Clinical Practice (GCP) course held by public university (in June)
1 course for fresh graduates held by private university (in April)
1 day seminar held by a government institution (in July)
and

a 3 days workshop held by a private institution (in July)

oh well, i got paid at least rm120++ for each of the courses. and for the 3 days workshop, with the amount that i was paid (just add on few hundred bucks), i can own a D700! :D Alhamdulillah. siapa yang tak tahu harga D700 boleh search kat YLcamera punya website. hehe. sangat happy for myself. at least dengan duit extra tu saya dah dapat buat macam-macam yang mungkin tak boleh dibuat kalau tak ada duit extra (tak perlu la nak mention kan apa yg saya buat). saya juga telah berjaya membeli tripod dan set cokin. sebelum ni berkira nak beli tripod. mahal seh. rm500++. hehe memang cheapskate. dan yang selebihnya dapat tambah tabungan.

the best thing was during 3 days workshop, the senior Prof. was sort of likes me. haha (perasan). when i finished my preliminary lecture, he approached me during the tea break. he said, 'did u graduated from oversea?' i said 'no, i'm from UIA'. then he asked again 'which year did you graduated?' i said 'i graduated in 2007'. and then he said, 'you are still young. and you are good u know. u have a bright future to be in this field. it's good to know there is a pharmacist in this field.' upon hearing that, i was like smiling for the whole day. hahaha. :D

dari segi fotografi, saya telah berjaya mencuba & menceburi beberapa bidang photography terbaru. i learned new techniques, and i did a lot of photohunting this year. people started to ask me for my service not only in wedding or event, but also for portraiture, products and birthday party photography. Alhamdulillah. rezekiku murah. cuma masalahnya saya malas nak shoot je sekarang ni. saya tolak beberapa job wedding sebab tak ada passion dan semangat waktu nak shoot. saya kena kenal atau rapat dengan subject baru saya boleh bagi photo yang ada impact. kalau setakat kenal biasa-biasa saja gambar saya macam tak ada feel. tak sukalah gambar macam tu. flat aje.

i still cry

2010-11-14T14:57:00.006+08:00

8th Nov 2010 :
tiba-tiba rasa nak activate FB balik. my mind said no, but my heart forced me to do so. masuk-masuk je, dekat top news, i saw this one album. once i saw the pictures, the familiar face, my tears started to fall.

i miss u.

void

2010-11-02T06:08:00.010+08:00

sangat tak da mood. tak da mood sangat-sangat!!!!!

if, by any chance, anyone who is reading this,
understand what i mean,
then, thank you.

IF, by any chance, you are reading this.
i would really want to say few things to you,
and i want to meet you again.

p/s: it's really hard for me to fulfill the wish. :'(

i am a superwoman

2010-10-31T14:16:00.014+08:00

lama betul tak update blog. flickr pun lama terabai. i usually channel my feeling through my photographs, through my writings (please refer to my previous blog entries). and oh yes, saya dah deactivate my FB. reasons? i feel sick, really realy sick. rasa macam everything that i did not worth at all. i just need support, ok. you see, i'm just a normal person. in times, i get drained too. oh wait. no. i'm actually a superwoman. yes i am. (hahaha). tak ada org nak puji. baik puji diri sendiri. yes, i am a superwoman. =)

lately saya tengah tengok balik photography archive saya ni. i found out that i have a lot of picture to share actually. tapi yang kat flickr, saya selalu letak gambar ala-ala poskad. yg macam journalism mungkin kena letak kat blog. i'm planning to have my own website. yg bole letak my photographs and at the same time i can blog. hmm, tengah berfikir ni. berbaloi tak ada website sendiri. sekali tak update blog. rugi je. :P

currently listening to : superwoman - Alicia Keys

look after you

2010-10-30T06:52:00.008+08:00

i look after you.
in your darkest hour.
when everything seems so far away.
when your hope seems to fade away.

currently listening to:

time for myself

2010-10-28T20:44:00.011+08:00

dear friends,
i'm tired.
i need to recharge.

dear people,
i'm drained.
dont burden me with stupid things.

dear mind,
i need the best of you.
please accompany me back soon.

dear heart,
i need your highest degree of strength.
so that the old me be back and i'll be strong again.

i need time for myself. coz i want to fix things.

currently listening to:

[sepi]

2010-10-18T20:43:00.006+08:00

. . . . .

i wish

2010-08-31T22:11:00.009+08:00

i pray and wish for God to guide me
so that i wont be taking any stupid action

i wish for a wiser me
so that i know what to look for in life

i wish for a stronger me
so that i can get through all the hardships

i wish for a better me
so that it will overrule the current me

in the end,
i only wish for my first wish.

end.

the.life.story.

2010-08-23T14:49:00.006+08:00

love.care.share

laugh.cry.smile

work.play.joy

live.serve.die.

time is running out

2010-08-17T22:42:00.002+08:00

my time is borrowed.
and i know u r not here.
so pls come back, soon.

As I remember you...
Silence mingled in corridors that once filled with crowds

the things that i would say before i go

2010-08-13T07:34:00.005+08:00

i pray that u're happy
i hope that u're doing great
i'm glad to see everything has been taken care of
i want to see all the parts of you are still there, as i remember them

and..
i have found the place where i shall wait for you. :)

Cold...bitter... [a tribute to Zarina]

2010-05-27T17:57:00.004+08:00

cold... bitter... [a tribute to Zarina]

On this cold and bitter night,
You are slipping out of my sight.
The thought of losing makes me fright.
Then the endless cry comes to whack my night.

As the night shed its tears, i advance out.
And in the tranquil hour of the late-night,
I see that stars no more illuminate and bright.
And the moon offers only half of its light.

The avenue seems so very long now,
The road is busy but the ride feels so lonely.
Silence mingles as crowds slowly withdraw,
Soon.. sadness lingers, like snowfall in an endless winter.

The hearts broken,
And dreams are shattered.
And the night is
Cold... bitter...

Yet, the hope and patience shall never run dry,
Pending for the time till our path cross again,
Just like the sun that misses the flowers in the depths of winter,
The thought and prayers from dearly-loved shall never get drained.

You are the best thing in a fleeting moment that i ever had.

poem and photo by: Fadhilah H

Al-Fatihah to Zarina bt. Abdul Ghafir

http://www.google.com/profiles/zarina.ag

Al-Fatihah to Zarina Abdul Ghafir

2010-04-15T06:55:00.014+08:00

a sister and a great friend of mine, Zarina Abdul Ghafir (2nd Batch IIUM Pharmacy) passed away on 1st April 2010 at 12:05am. Al-Fatihah to her. Semoga Allah mencucuri rahmat-Nya keatas beliau dan semoga rohnya ditempatkan bersama golongan orang-orang yang beriman dan solihin. ameen. it took me 2 weeks to make this post. alhamdulillah, i'm getting better. Dear Ina, i miss u so much. - love, Fadhilah H.

http://www.google.com/profiles/zarina.ag

1431H & 2010

2010-01-01T17:59:00.003+08:00

1 4 3 1 and 2 0 1 0 is just another year in my life.
nothing special, but of course i do pray for the best.
May ALLAH showers HIS blessing to all of his faithful servants.
amiin.

lucky

2009-10-19T22:26:00.001+08:00

they said i'm lucky. but i don't want to believe them.
considering on what i have been through.
but it's not long... not until the day i sit back and ponder.
SubhanALLAH, GOD is Great. and i am lucky, Alhamdulillah.

sand arts

2009-10-17T22:07:00.002+08:00

amazing. truly amazing.

Kseniya Simonova is a Ukrainian artist who just won Ukraine's version of "America's Got Talent." She uses a giant light box, dramatic music, imagination and "sand painting" skills to interpret Germany's invasion and occupation of Ukraine during WWII.

i'm back

2009-10-12T15:55:00.002+08:00

alhamdulillah. selamat sampai Msia subuh semalam. :)

chill

2009-10-02T00:23:00.004+08:00

i was searching for certain file in my digital archive when i found these. can't believe myself that i wrote these few years back, somewhere in 2004. i posted these in my friendster blog, which i had deactivate it long ago. mind my grammar, if any.

Water Flow Dilemma : Let myself as a water molecule. Entangled to other molecules by strong hydrogen bonding. I was drag to be drifted in laminar flow of a winding stream. The molecules move at various speeds. The current sometimes violently turbulent, made me goes astray. The friction decelerates me and distorts my view. I tried to escape from this hostile aqueous environment but the energy is insufficient. Incapable to resist the flow, I was forced to follow. Neither do I have any option nor choice. The journey is long and I’m at initial phase. Many things I’ve faced and seen. Things that were, are my glorious memories. Things that are, are my patchy path. And things that had not yet come into past, is what I dread most. I have noting but a wish. My wish is no mere wish. A wish that cause me to have infinite capacity. A wish that one day does this journey come to end. To harbour on dream place, where all hopes become certainty, and illusion become actuality. That is the place where I belong.

sounds funny rite?

--------------

mahu mengembara ke hemisfera utara untuk seketika.
sehingga berjumpa lagi.
wassalam.

why oh why

2009-09-30T20:59:00.009+08:00

why should i wish for something new
when i knew that the one that i have is good

why should i be sad and despair
when i knew I'm still among the lucky one

why should i leave this place
when i knew that this is where i destined to be

why should i long for some uncertainties
when i knew the opportunity lies ahead of me

why can't i see that all these are not a mere fate
when i knew, they are all come from His Will

why oh why...

-----------------------

sedarkah kita,
dunia kini menghampiri penghujungnya, sudah tersangat bongkok,
dan bumi sudah tidak mampu bertahan, sebab itulah asyik bergempa.

beauty lies in the eyes of beholder

2009-09-29T18:04:00.005+08:00

do i look pretty to you?

everyone is beautiful in his/her own way.
so always strive to be the best, in class of your own.

yang satu

2009-09-15T05:33:00.013+08:00

dua belas purnama ku tunggu kedatanganmu
namun engkau datang hanya pada yang satu

setiap tahun ku berazam tidak mahu mensiakanmu
namun semangatku layu bersama aliran waktu

sepurnama ku tunggu kunjunganmu
namun engkau datang hanya pada yang satu

setiap malam ku ingin bertemu denganmu
namun janjiku pudar bersama kepekatan waktu

saban tahun aku mempersiakanmu
wahai bulan dan malam yang satu.

-----------------------

reminiscing the leaving of Ramadhan,
celebrating the coming of Syawal.

apa yang menghantarmu pulang

2009-09-14T10:30:00.009+08:00

engkau leka membuang masa seharian
perlukah datangnya senja untuk menghantarmu pulang?

engkau terpedaya dengan raut yang manis
perlukah usia untuk menghantarmu pulang?

engkau terpesona dengan susuk yang menawan
perlukah sakit terlantar untuk menghantarmu pulang?

engkau terlena bersama usia muda
perlukah tua untuk menghantarmu pulang?

engkau asyik mengingati dunia serta isinya
perlukah kain kafan untuk menghantarmu pulang?

_________________

Salam Syawal 1430H

Maaf Zahir Batin.

mixed feeling

2009-09-11T17:41:00.004+08:00

kinda mixed feeling lately.
dunno why. maybe the thought of leaving and of not being able to make it.
however, yesterday [100909] was my lucky day. i'm so happy for now.
right now, i'm looking forward for the events on 3rd oct. two events actually. :)

photography

2009-08-13T10:18:00.000+08:00

sometimes, it's good to make photography just a hobby.

yeah. strongly agree.

promises are made

2009-07-24T22:16:00.002+08:00

i don't want to hear promises.
i want to see proves.

promises are made all the time, by everyone.
sigh. i'm just tired of it.

Majlis Pertunangan Erina

2009-07-20T21:59:00.005+08:00

Erina Camilla - my IIUM Pharmacy classmate

VisionMongers: Making a Life and a Living in Photography (Voices That Matter)

2009-07-15T09:04:00.004+08:00

photography book.

image courtesy of Amazon.com

source : http://www.amazon.com/

reference : www.pixelatedimage.com/blog/

1st National Scientific Meeting of Renal Pharmacy

2009-07-09T19:09:00.005+08:00

1st National Scientific Meeting of Renal Pharmacy,
Holiday Villa, Subang.
10-11th July 2009.

tanpa tajuk

2009-07-08T12:02:00.002+08:00

mengisi kelapangan. :)

seen in the picture, the OP and the Bridegroom.

Majlis Perkahwinan Mallissa & Azizuddin

2009-07-05T09:48:00.003+08:00

my IIUM Pharmacy classmate & ex-housemate.

congrats. :)

a note

2009-06-11T21:24:00.004+08:00

a note to oneself.

Run till you fall. Get up, and keep running.

macro lens

2009-05-20T11:03:00.008+08:00

taken with nikon D60 + 105mm micro Nikkor VR + nissin Di622.

105mm micro Nikkor VR, worth every penny of it :)
next in the list, ultra wide angle lens..hehe

time flies

2009-05-07T11:53:00.014+08:00

owh how time flies...we are now towards the end of the first half of 2009.

yep, i have abandoned this blog and my flickr for quite a long time. the reasons is, yeah, obviously, i'm busy. the GLP program, the one that i have put so much effort at my work place shall be launch by Minister somewhere end of June or early of July. the other reason is, my long lost hobby i.e. reading and i, are now rekindled. hehe.

i bought myself 2 books last labour's day and are now reading and finishing them. apart from it, i just finished reading my birthday gift 'Life is an Open Secret' written by Zabrina A. Bakar. she's truly a genius writer. what makes me more impressed is, she is also an IIUM alumni member. reading her short stories really inspires me. her book is a must read for all Muslims out there i must say. all the thanx goes to Zarina Abdul Ghafir for the wonderful birthday gift ;).

it's time to fall in love with books again. but i shall never forget my photography xD

Most recommended:

Currently Reading:

new dlsr from Nikon

2009-04-24T07:59:00.012+08:00

new dslr entry level from nikon is out. of course, i never intend to upgrade my dslr body for the time being [wanted to save money for the rainy days]. and if i were to upgrade, d300 would be my only choice for DX format. for the time being, i'm more interested in UWA and some filters. hmm... maybe i should wait for replacement of d300 before i upgrade the body. heheh.

anyway, i received a letter from Cawangan Pengurusan Protokol KKM yesterday. my Lampiran A for 9th OECD Training Course for Good Laboratory Practice (GLP) in Basel, Swiss has been approved by Tan Sri KPK and KSU. guess it's time to do some saving and of course, funding for my future wide angle lens. =)

and oh yea.. i have some addtional infomation, on 28-30th April, i'll be attending 'Good Clinical Practice Joint CRC-BiotechCorp GCP Workshop' in Flamingo Hotel, Ampang. at the end of the workshop, the participants were required to sit for GCP Certificate Exam. Sigh.. another long and tiring weekdays is waiting for me nextweek.

review about nikon d5000.

Nikon D5000 Key Features

12.9 megapixel DX-format CMOS sensor (effective pixels: 12.3 million)
2.7" tilt and swivel LCD monitor (230,000 dots)
Movie capture at up to 1280 x 720 (720p) 24 fps with mono sound
Live View with contrast-detect AF, face detection and subject tracking
Image sensor cleaning (sensor shake)
11 AF points (with 3D tracking)
IS0 200-3200 range (100-6400 expanded)
4 frames per second continuous shooting (buffer: 7 RAW, 25 JPEG fine, 100 JPEG Normal)
Expeed image processing engine
Extensive in-camera retouching including raw development and straightening
Connector for optional GPS unit (fits on hot shoe)
New battery with increased capacity
72 thumbnail and calendar view in playback

Nikon D5000 vs D60: Key Differences

The D5000 could easily be seen as a D60 with a tilting screen added, and most of a D90 stuffed into it. As such it offers quite a few feature improvements over its little brother:
12.3 MP CMOS sensor (D60: 10.2 MP CCD)
Tilt/swivel screen
Live View with contrast detect AF
Movie Mode
Wider ISO range
11 point AF system with 3D tracking (D60: 3 point AF)
Control of Active D-Lighting intensity
Automatic correction of lateral chromatic aberration
Choice of JPEG quality in RAW+JPEG shooting
Extra retouching options
More scene modes
Faster continuous shooting
Bracketing

source : http://www.dpreview.com/previews/nikond5000/

induksi

2009-04-04T22:19:00.004+08:00

it's been a while since my last entry. well, what can i say, I'm busy. hehe

i attended kursus induksi KKM kumpulan 1 pengurusan & professional, bil 2 / 2009. it was held in golden straits villas, port dickson from 15-29 march 2009. there were 51 of us. mainly from the headquaters of kkm, in putrajaya. the 1st two days of the course were really tiring. but as the time goes, we manage to adapt ourselves to the packed schedule. the programme starts from 8am, so we had to had our breakfast as early as 7pm. our day will only end at around 11pm [sometimes even later] every day during those 2 weeks of induksi. we had series of lectures and talk by renown speakers from KKM. we really had fun while doing the LDK, riadah and not to forget the 2 dance that we learn during the induksi. and on every evening we had to go for exercise. it's really tiring but i was fun, indeed. we even went for jungle trekking at tanjung tuan, melaka. gosh, i never realized that i was physically unfit. hahaha. finally, on the last day, we had our dinner as a closing ceremony. the best part is that, the event is totally being prepared and organized by us. from the props, to the invitation card, to the performance and etc. it was a great experience. the last time i felt that way was when i was organizing some major event during my undergrad years. the dinner was a blast. everyone had a great time. and i couldn't believe that the next day when we go to work, we are still talking about induksi. not only among us in BPFK, but it goes beyond departments. thank you for those memorable memories. :)

p/s: all of us couldn't believe that we're so into induksi even after it's over.

Cooliris

2009-03-12T05:51:00.009+08:00

i found this cool software for picture viewer. it is so cool, no wonder they named it as cooliris. you can download the software from http://www.cooliris.com/

here's quick updates on what i've been workin on last weekend. i had a cityscape outing with Azri and Shahreen on 8th March 2009.

the rest of cityscape collection is HERE.

p/s: on long BREAK. attending Kursus Induksi KKM 15th - 29th March 2009.

my 25 random things

2009-02-21T19:51:00.002+08:00

25 random facts about me. but i think it's more that 25.
from my FB.

1. I’m NOT a perfectionist. I just want things to be right.

2. I have allergic rhinitis. My olfactory is very sensitive to any kind of smell. I can only tolerate certain smell of perfumes. That’s why I’m most likely to stick to same perfume for long time.

3. I’m a fan of any odd number for no reason. My fave is 3. [notice that i mentioned this in point #3. hehe.] and oh yeah, I was born on March.

4. Two of my senses are degrading. i think my hearing is degrading and so does my vision.

5. I have many problems with head and neck region. Rhinitis, migraine, earache neck pain, upper back pain etc. could they be associated with my head injuries that I had when I was 4 and 5 y.o?

6. I have hyperhydrosis – sweating of the extremities. My hands are cold and clammy. Sometimes I even think that I might have heart problem. [haha i love to self-diagnose and then started to overthink]

7. I used to drink Nescafe a lot. But now I’m abstaining myself from any caffeine as much as possible. I do relapse sometimes though. I stop drinking Nescafe excessively because I will develop sort of chest pain after few cups of Nescafe. The pain is like part of ur chest is in ischemic state. Ischemic ok, not infarction. Apart from that, Nescafe over stimulates my GIT system and at the same time kills my appetite. That explain why I lose weight.

8. I love choc. My fave is dark choc. Dark choc is not bitter ok. It’s BITTER SWEET. ;)

9. I love to write. I even wanted to be a journalist when I was young. But my writing sucks. So I read pharmacy in university. Haha.

10. Ten. I was born on March 10.

11. Reading used to be one of my hobbies. Not until I became too obsessed with photography. I never finish any book written by Stephen King. I think the storyline is too disturbing. Surprisingly, I manage to read the Tolkien’s. But I find the second book of LORT trilogy i.e The Two Towers is the hardest to visualize. And oh yeah, Jane Austen is my fave author. I do read Malay books, mainly those that won Hadiah Sastera Utusan Melayu. My childhood authors are Enid Blyton and Dr. Haji Othman Puteh. I save my pocket money everyday when I was in primary school just to make sure that I can go to nearby bookstore on the weekend and buy one or two of Enid Blyton’s.

12. I’m now saving not for buying books, but for my latest obsession i.e photography. I started to love photography when I was 13 or maybe 14, but at that time, the technology is still far behind. There’s no term as digital photography. I have to use film camera. Due to financial reason n the cost of purchasing, developing photos from films, my hobby had been suppressed. Thanx to digital era. My long lost hobby is now rekindled.

13. I think ‘fan’ is my overuse word in this note.

14. Do not underestimate me. You have no idea of what I’m capable of.

15. I’m a Piscean. I’m sensitive. To any kind of stimulus and extreme.

16. I changed course two times, and I changed university once. I’m indecisive. But when want something, I really want it and I want it to be exactly as I want it, on that particular moment. Any deviation from the way that I wanted it to be, will lead to depression. This also applies to any changes in plan, appointment, meeting etc. It irritates me when something that has been planned suddenly being reschedule again and again because I need to plan my calendar again, and again!

17. I think I have minor obsessive compulsive personality. My things can be very orderly at one time but sometimes they too, can be quite messy.

18. I love to travel abroad, but I don’t have enough money. If I were to life in the ancient days, I want to travel abroad like Ibn Battuta. To travel across boundaries, hills and slopes, meeting new people and write down the info, to be shared with others. [I wish those days have cameras, so I can take photographs.]

19. I tend to gravitate towards anything that is classics and arty, or having romantic mood.

20. I hate waiting esp. when it exceeds 20 minutes.

21. I’m a jaywalker.

22. I think life is itself full of story that makes it colourful, but too much drama spoil the beauty of it .

23. I don’t worship friendship. So any kind of superficial friendship, backstabbing, ‘I’m an angel, u’re a bitch’ thingy, tarnishing the dignity of others, and so forth really pissed me off. so high-school. Little that those kind of people want me as their friend, I want them as friends even less!

24. To me, trusted friends are hard to find, but are best to keep.

25. Lastly, blood ties is irreplaceable.

it's been a while

2009-02-11T23:11:00.009+08:00

it's been a while since my last update. many things need to be done and many things happen lately. =)

my frens and i went to our classmate wedding in melaka last saturday.
the bride is ourclassmate while the groom is from the 1st batch.
photos are available in our batch flickr account

http://www.flickr.com/photos/rx2007

and in my facebook.

Shazly Zhafry & Nurul Affidia

brides and bridesmaids? ehehe maid of honour is the one far left

pidit

* the last pic has no editing, no cropping, straight from the camera. RAW converted to jpeg. the 1st two has minor cropping

brains and heart

2009-01-29T09:21:00.002+08:00

i was inspired to write regarding this matter after reading an article written by TDM in his blog. he mentioned about buiding a strong nation that would not only require brains but also require brains with heart [feelings].

a body without a feelings is like a body without soul. the person maybe a brainy, super straight A's student etc, but what distinguish us form artificial intelligent devices is the heart. yep. the heart that comes with feelings. heartless persons may achieved a lot of outstanding things in their life. because those persons are not bothered or affected by the surrounding and doesn't really care about the surrounding. they simply regard others as insignificant and hopeless being which must be utilized and manipulated as much as possible to materialized their goals.

brains alone, can create a monster. yes, a monster. those monsters will desperately seeking for achievement [or should i say, kiasu? ] in everything that they do [which in a way, is good], but resulting to the extent of not to care for the misery of others? [which is bad]. tell me, was it really fun to see the misery of others resulting from the 'product' of your brain? don't you have anything else to do to kill your boredom apart from tormenting? do you think a cold-blooded like you really deserve a happy ending? i'm not here to punish or give u the answer. u do the thinking.

any humane being doesn't really care at all if the monster owned all the trophies in the world. you have nothing to be proud of. unless u take pride in being a heartless being. however, u deserve a smile to yourself. of course, for being so successful.

the end.

-----------------------------------------------------

just to share with others

Bila Allah cepat makbulkan Doamu, Maka DIA Menyayangimu,

Bila DIA Lambat Makbulkan doamu, Maka DIA Ingin Mengujimu,

Bila DIA Tidak Makbulkan Doamu, Maka Dia Merancang Sesuatu Yang lebih Baik Untukmu.

Oleh itu, Sentiasalah Bersangka Baik Pada ALLAH Dalam Apa Jua Keadaan Pun... Kerana Kasih sayang ALLAH Itu Mendahului KemurkaanNya.

walking down the memory lane

2009-01-21T22:31:00.004+08:00

haven't get any ideas on what to write for the next entry. work has taken a toll on my time and health lately. i'll come back for more thoughtful entries in the future.

where flowers bloom, so does hope.

2009-01-12T00:48:00.001+08:00

O' people of Palestine. Do not give up. Our prayers are with you. Let's fight the terrorist zionist together, with all that we can.

source : http://www.flickr.com/photos/fadhilah/

a day with nature

2009-01-11T15:11:00.013+08:00

Device : Nikon D60
Lens : Tamron 17-50mm f2.8
Shutter speed : 20s

Device : s.a.a
Lens : s.a.a
Shutter speed : 10s

Problems:
1. need more work on nature shots. this shots was taken at Hutan Simpan FRIM, Kepong. the framing and composition are still poor.

2. the first photo was captured around 8am. and it was still dark and cloudy during the time it was captured. some other photo of this 1st waterfall are blurry. :P

3. the second photo was capture at different level of waterfall at around 12.30pm. it is quite difficult to climb up the slippery rocks [carrying my weight together with backpack, and not to forget the tripod], there is also a presence of big pipe across the waterwall. [peliknya, ada batang paip besar merentasi air terjun tu] and lastly, the difficulties to find the best spot to take waterfall shots in between those big rocks.

4. my lens are not wide enough. i need a wide angle [12-24mm] lens or ultra wide angle [10-20mm] and an ND filter [as suggested by azri]. well, i'm looking forward to buy a polarizer and ND filter too. hehe

5. the tripod seems to be not strong enough to support the total weight of my camera. [well, it's a free tripod anyway, comes with a package when i purchased dlsr]. sounds like i need to have a manfroto. hahaha.

fitnah

2009-01-07T22:05:00.005+08:00

fitnah menurut kamus dewan membawa erti tuduhan jahat yg sengaja dibuat untuk memburuk-burukkan atau membencanakan seseorang. tuduhan jahat ini boleh berbentuk pengkhabaran, pertuturan, perbuatan, atau pun apa sahaja daya usaha yang dilakukan oleh pihak plaintif [pendakwa atau lebih tepatnya pemfitnah] yang dibuat keatas defendan [mangsa yang difitnah]. dalam konteks fitnah ini, media teknologi terkini turut tidak terkecuali dari menjadi alat memfitnah sesuatu pihak.

apa sebenarnya yang mendorong kepada seorang individu itu untuk menabur fitnah? jawapannya ringkas dan mudah sahaja. iaitu dengki. ya, perasaan dengki atau iri hati. dengki atau iri hati ini pula bermula dengan perasaan seseorang contohnya individu A yang tidak berpuas hati dengan kesenangan atau nikmat yang diperolehi oleh seorang individu lain, individu B. individu A yang iri hati dengan kesenangan individu B ini pada mulanya mungkin masih boleh bergaul dengan individu B. akan tetapi, apabila melihatkan kesenangan yang berterusan yang diperolehi oleh individu B, individu A akan mula menunjukkan perasaan kurang senang.

perasaan kurang senang ini selalunya jelas terpancar pada mimik muka atau gerakbalas yang ditunjukkan oleh individu yang mempunyai perasaan iri hati. namun, ada juga sesetengah individu yang pandai menyembunyikan perasaan mereka. walau apapun, perasaan dengki dan iri hati ini adalah perasaan negatif, yang apabila menjadi kumulatif, akan diterjemahkan secara terang-terangan. sebagai contoh perasaan dengki dan iri hati yang terkumpul sejak sekian lama akan menyebabkan berlakunya perselisihan faham atau persengketaan yang berterusan antara dua pihak.

persengketaan sering terjadi antara individu. tetapi bagaimana pula sekiranya terdapat satu pihak yang telah melampaui batas sehingga sanggup memfitnah satu pihak yang lain? dan bagaimana pula jika pihak yang memfitnah itu bukan sahaja mencanangkan khabar dusta akan tetapi urut mengaibkan dan menjatuhkan maruah pihak difitnah. sesuatu pihak yang telah difitnah mencuri pastinya akan berasa malu, tetapi apabila dituduh mencuri dan berlaku 'jahat' atau sumbang pastinya pihak yang difitnah itu akan berasa aib sekali. apatah lagi jika fitnah itu dicanang ke seluruh pelusuk negeri. pastinya ia sangat aib lagi mengaibkan.

apa yang paling sukar diterima oleh akal yang waras adalah jika pihak yang memfitnah itu suatu ketika dulu pernah meminta bantuan dan pertolongan pihak yang telah difitnah olehnya. apakah dia sudah lupa akan budi yang telah ditabur? tidakkah kita pernah mendengar akan peribahasa melayu 'seperti melepaskan anjing tersepit dipagar'? bukan sahaja peribahasa melayu, malah bahasa inggeris juga mempunyai kata bestari yang seakan-akan sama ertinya iaitu 'do not bite the hand that feeds you'.

sedarlah wahai mereka yang menabur fitnah. sesungguhnya dosa yang menganiaya orang itu tidak terhapus selagi kita tidak meminta maaf dari pihak yang teraniaya.

lagi entri berbahasa melayu

sailing across the vast ocean

2009-01-06T17:54:00.010+08:00

sailing in the vast ocean, originally uploaded by Fadhilah H..

new year has come.

our journey throughout 2009 is like sailing across the vast ocean.
we never know what may come on our way,
whether we will be hit by gale or when we will finally reach our destination.

but we have to be brave, to sail across until we find a place that we call... land.

tools : nikon D60 + kits lens.

the story

2008-12-30T23:49:00.008+08:00

It all started somewhere around august 2005 when I bought myself a digital compact camera. Among my earliest shoots were during pharmacy family day 2005. Ever since then, I started to shoot for fun for many events in my campus, and photography has developed to become one of my hobbies. I even created a fotopage account at http://kaizen.fotopages.com/ and started to keep it updated regularly. On July 2008, when I finally manage to get myself my first ever DSLR, I decided to move to and concentrate on my flickr account. I think it’s better for me to start a new chapter in my photography.

We are now towards the end of 2008, and for these past few months, I have been receiving many comments, advice and supports from the flickr members. Your opinion, advice and support are very much appreciated. It's time to have a break for a while. There won't be any new posts until next year. Thank you very much for your lasting support.

source: http://www.flickr.com/photos/fadhilah/

in review

2008-12-28T14:27:00.007+08:00

for my photographs collections please click here
and for better view of this picture please go here

a year has passed.

it has been an unruly, inspiring, roller-coaster ride and eventful year for many of us. and, it took us to take many wrong turn before we finally found the real truth.

may His blessing be with us for the coming new year. amiin.

the idiot box

2008-12-21T20:01:00.011+08:00

there was live telecast of mawi-ekin wedding by the local tv stations.
such a waste of money. are they really important to our country? who cares whether they are getting married or not, where they will spend their honeymoon, how many kids they are planning to have or whether their marriage is on the rocks or not, certainly those are none of my interest. and also to none of us, i believe.
our local tv must be running out of show to broadcast. that's why they are airing these kind of stupid show.

oh wait, maybe the couple paid big amount of money so that their wedding were aired on tv. the RTM [sounds more like Radio Televisyen Merepek to me] n some other stations which had broadcasted the wedding should spend wisely on the money and please produce some educational and good quality tv shows. no more stupid reality show [where ppl with no talent at all started to join the show] and some idiot game show [where u can see some local artists make fool of themselves by telling stupid jokes or dressing like a clown]. it's becoming increasingly annoying to me.

WORK : The World In Photographs

2008-12-20T15:35:00.008+08:00

i went to the borders bookstore this morning. i was planning to buy this book;

National Geographic: The Photographs
by: Leah Bendavid-Val
RM 64.90

* the above picture is courtesy of www.borders.com

however, i ended buying this book
National Geographic: WORK The World In Photographs
by: Ferdinand Protzman
RM 64.90
* this pic was taken immediately when i reached home. hehe

there at the borders, i saw this book, but i didn't buy. yet..hehe
Through the Lens: National Geographic Greatest Photographs
RM 114.90

* the above picture is courtesy of www.borders.com

India Gate

2008-12-15T08:33:00.004+08:00

India Gate, originally uploaded by Fadhilah H..

India Gate is one of the largest war memorials in India. Situated in the heart of New Delhi, India Gate is prominent landmark in Delhi and commemorates the members of the erstwhile British Indian Army who lost their lives fighting for the Indian Empire in World War I and the Afghan Wars. source: Wikipedia

tools : Nikon D60 + kit lens

maya ajak makan

2008-12-12T19:24:00.004+08:00

gambar tgh makan lagi

maya

azri

dgn maya

night out

2008-12-11T14:32:00.003+08:00

sham

hidayati

rahizah

to write or not to

2008-12-04T06:42:00.006+08:00

it's been a long time since my last serious entry. lately i'm more into uploading photos from my flickr and posted them on my blog. well, i don't really like to write things that i do every day, except when it involve a photographs taking session. i'm a serious writer. i write serious thing. but to write a serious thing, u'll have to have the feel. the mood. lately my job has make it impossible for me to write serious matter. hopefully by the end of this year, i'll come out with some serious topic.

i have to attend another course this morning.
it's GLP short course by Compliance Monitoring Authority (CMA) from Finland.
so far, i have attended 3 workshops.

1. WHO GLP Workshop, conducted in India
2. GLP workshop in Subang by CMA from Australia.
3. GLP workshop in IMR by CMA from US EPA

Alhamdulillah. rezeki murah sejak kerja..

time to go. i have to attend the course in cyberjaya within 2 hours from now.

FH
6.30am

indoor shots

2008-12-03T08:23:00.005+08:00

dinner at Noodle Station with housemates.

i love all the indoor shots taken last night. hehe :D

the gate

2008-12-02T10:32:00.001+08:00

the gate, originally uploaded by Fadhilah H..

need a leave after few days of tiring workshops.
need a holiday after few months of working.
need a break, both from blogspot & flickr.

my India trip photos are at ;
www.flickr.com/photos/fadhilah/

the wedding photos for my batch are available at ;
www.flickr.com/photos/rx2007/

i'll hv a break till i come back, that is only after Aidil Adha. :)

p/s: goin' back home this frid! :D

Baiti & Fairose at Kuala Perlis

2008-11-24T00:20:00.002+08:00

Baiti & Fairose at Kuala Perlis II, originally uploaded by Fadhilah H..

my IIUM classmate wedding, Nur Baiti Adha.

quite big numbers of my classmates turn up for the wedding. :D

L2R: Nadrah, Adik Nabilah, Adik Nadrah, Fadhilah, Hafzan, Rahizah, Baiti, Mal [back], Ina, Adibah, & Nabilah.

not in the picture: Kak Siti, Ain & Syima

Taj Mahal again

2008-11-19T00:09:00.005+08:00

Taj Mahal again, originally uploaded by Fadhilah H..

balik-balik gambar kat India, gambar Taj Mahal.

lately lama dah tak pegang camera. busy. nextweek ade 1 whole week course kat institute of medical research.

and next year, i have to sit for Good Clinical Practice (GCP) Certificate test at Clinical Reserach Centre (CRC) Hospital Melaka.

locked

2008-11-15T22:16:00.005+08:00

locked, originally uploaded by Fadhilah H..

i shot this in RAW, converted to b&w and save the photo in jpeg. it's ISO 1600. only minor noise detected at high ISO. impressive eh? that's why i love nikon.

arts and my nikon D60

2008-11-13T21:22:00.004+08:00

glowing Taj under the hot sun, originally uploaded by Fadhilah H..

i love all kind of arts.

be it Architecture, Art & Visual arts, Calligraphy, Crafts, Culinary art, Decorative art, Design, Drawing, Fashion, Film, Language, Literature, Music, Painting, Photography, Poetry, Sculpture, Theatre & Performing arts & etc.

semuanya saya suka! =)

ramai kata D60 tak berbaloi beli. haha. this picture was taken by me using the 'useless' D60. hey... suke hati org tu la nak beli camera ape. ikot selera poket die.

afterall, painting with Van Gogh brush's doesn't make you an artist. rite?

workshop

2008-11-11T23:10:00.002+08:00

workshop, originally uploaded by Fadhilah H..

currently attending 3 days Good Laboratory Practice workshop at Sheraton Subang.

the workshop is organized by Malaysian Biotechnology Corporation [BiotechCorp]

the 2 invited speakers are from National Association of Testing Authorities, Australia.

eventful weekend

2008-11-09T19:53:00.006+08:00

yay... weekend ni macam eating & shopping spree je. duit keluar mcm air.
hehe. a treat to myself. ape salahnya. bermula dari jumaat tghari sampai la ke ptg tadi [ahad].

another video;
Graduation [for sisters' week] - FH version.

IIUM grad in newspaper

2008-11-01T21:00:00.000+08:00

this is newspaper cutting from Utusan 25th Oct 2008.
Amira Hajira is from IIUM Pharmacy, Class of 2007.
Congratulation Mira Jira.

btw, baru berpeluang upload kat youtube selepas setahun lebih buat video ni.

photos of india

2008-10-23T00:13:00.004+08:00

few more photos are available at

www.flickr.com/photos/fadhilah/

i'll upload them gradually. :)

just came back from India

2008-10-20T00:51:00.002+08:00

just came back this morning.

India

2008-10-09T08:10:00.000+08:00

it's final.

our MAS flight to delhi is on the evening of 12th oct 2008
we'll have 1 1/2 days to spend in Delhi. we r planning to visit agra. [self funding]
our Indian airlines flight to lucknow is on 14th oct 2008
the GLP course is a 3 days course. from 15th - 17th oct 2008.
on 18th oct, we'll 1 day lucknow tour. [again, self funding].
our flight from lucknow to delhi is at 20:00 on 18th oct.
and our flight from delhi to kl is at 23:00 on the same day.
InsyaAllah, we'll land in KLIA at dawn, on 19th oct 2008.

all the best to both of us.
may we learn something from the course, and return home safely.
Amiin.

GLP course

2008-09-20T14:41:00.008+08:00

my weekdays at work has been a VERY busy hours for me since the day i report duty as pegawai.

clinical trial is seriously in need of man power. the phones keep on ringging, the applicants and reps keep on coming. the senior officers and the officeboy keep on missing in action. heh.

tak suka tempat baru yg tak cukup pegawai. sampaikan kena ganti pergi meeting JKPP.

omg! it's the worst thing that i can imagine working in biro.

but the best part is, Dr Hasenah [of Chromatography Lab] and i shall attend

WHO-TDR workshop on "Train the GLP-Trainer" in Lucknow, India from 13th oct - 18th oct 2008.
we represent Malaysia, on behalf of MoH. WHO will pay for all local cost, while the travelling cost will be paid by BPFK. yeah... so, India, here i come!

click here to find out about Lucknow, India

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lucknow

http://wikitravel.org/en/Lucknow

p/s: ni pergi kursus tau, bukannya jalan-jalan. ;p

care

2008-09-12T20:37:00.004+08:00

if u stop caring, u're jaded.
if u care too much... it'll ruin you.

still it's better to care, because life is never perfect.

dragons

2008-09-08T21:28:00.001+08:00

fairy tales do not tell children that dragons exist.
children already know that dragons exist.
fairy tales tell children that dragons can be killed.

hehe.. go figure.

Bahasa

2008-09-01T08:19:00.001+08:00

Sempena perayaan menyambut Hari Kemerdekaan yang ke-51, ingin disini saya mencoretkan pemikiran saya dalam bahasa ibunda. Maklumlah, 'Seribu Bahasa Kita Bicara, Manakan Sama Bahasa Ibunda'. Tidak menggunakan bahasa ibunda tidak bererti seseorang itu lupa akan kepentingannya. Saya lebih gemar menulis dalam satu bahasa yang lengkap dengan tatabahasa dan strukturnya berbanding mencampur adukkan pelbagai bahasa didalam satu ayat. Mungkin tatabahasa saya kurang memuaskan, maklumlah, kali terakhir penulisan saya diuji adalah sewaktu saya menduduki peperiksaan SPM pada tahun 1999 dahulu. Ia merupakan suatu jangka masa yang agak lama. Penulis merasakan dirinya sudah berumur apabila memikirkanya.

Baik, berbalik kita kepada tajuk perbincangan kali ini, iaitu tentang Bahasa.
Bahasa itu adalah identiti sesebuah kaum. Saya bersetuju dengan cadangan mengajarkan mata pelajaran sains dan matematik dalam Bahasa Inggeris di sekolah-sekolah. Kenapa? Kerana pada pandangan saya, untuk menguasai ilmu itu, haruslah dimulakan dengan menguasai bahasa. Jika kita lihat pada sejarah, para cendekiawan dan ilmuan agung Islam pada mulanya bermula dengan menguasai bahasa eropah.

Dengan menguasai bahasa orang eropah, Ilmuan Islam berjaya menterjemah buku-buku yang dicetak pada zaman tamadun Yunani dan Rom. Penterjemahan ini menambah minat ramai ilmuan untuk mempelajari dan mempelopori pelbagai bidang. Bermula dari situlah, berkembangnya Tamadun Islam. Para cendekiawan dan ilmuan mula mencipta penemuan-penemuan baru dan menghasilkan karya mereka sendiri dalam Bahasa Arab. Karya-karya mereka begitu agung sehingga menjadi rujukan beberapa universiti di eropah.

Namun, kita tidak harus melupakan bahasa ibunda. Lihat sahaja beberapa negara di Amerika Latin. Mereka rata-rata tidak menggunakan bahasa ibunda sebagai bahasa rasmi. Adakah mereka membangun? Jawapannya tidak. Negara mereka tidaklah begitu membangun. Taraf hidup mereka rendah dan mempunyai kadar inflasi yang tinggi. Apa yang ingin saya tegaskan di sini adalah, walaupun kita bertutur dalam bahasa asing, yang penutur asalnya adalah kaum dari negara maju, itu tidak memberi jaminan bahawa kita boleh maju seperti mereka jika minda dan jiwa kita kosong.

Eloklah kita mewujudkan satu generasi yang boleh "Bercakap kepada dunia, tetapi dalam masa yang sama difahami anak bangsa". Bercakap kepada dunia, dengan menggunakan bahasa antarabangsa iaitu Bahasa Inggeris dan bertutur agar difahami anak bangsa dengan menggunakan bahasa ibunda. Nah, bukankah itu cantik didengar?

Sekian. Fikir-fikirkanlah.

a year has passed

2008-08-31T09:09:00.006+08:00

yeah... last friday was my last day to serve as PRP.
although i'll only report to duty in front of BPFK director on this 16th sept, but hey... nextweek i'm no longer prp. hahah [jumping with joy] \("_")/

and oh yea... i didn't lose my seniority in the gov service eventhough i'll be reporting late to my director. some of my frens from uia will report themselves to duty to the JKNS on this 2nd sept. the officer at KKM said that, we had already been entitled as FRPs and will received full pay as FRP as for this september.

i would like to take this opportunity to congratulate all of my classmates back in uia for their promotion as a FRP. those in hospital will be known as pegawai farmasi while those in BPFK and enforcement will be holding the title penolong pengarah. again, congratulation to all. kerja rajin-rajin tau.

Selamat Menyambut Ramadhan al-Mubarak.

my personality info

2008-08-22T18:19:00.003+08:00

a friend of mine suggested this website.
http://www.mypersonality.info/

so i did some test to determine my personality. here's the result..

ENFJ - The "Mentor"

Extraverted, iNtuition, Feeling, Judging
ENFJs are externally focused, introspective, altruistic, positive and have excellent people skills. They place utmost importance on helping others grow. They are warm and have a natural desire to be supportive and encouraging. Being charismatic and posessing excellent language skills, they do well in leadership roles. ENFJs strive to enhance the lives of their human brethren.

ENFJs are people-focused individuals. They live in the world of people possibilities. More so than any other type, they have excellent people skills. They understand and care about people, and have a special talent for bringing out the best in others. ENFJ's main interest in life is giving love, support, and a good time to other people. They are focused on understanding, supporting, and encouraging others. They make things happen for people, and get their best personal satisfaction from this

Real ENFJ People
Abraham Maslow - psychologist
Andy Griffith - actor
Ben Affleck - actor
Ben Stiller - actor, comedian
Bob Saget - actor
Brenda Vaccaro - actress
Craig T. Nelson - actor (Coach)
Dennis Hopper - actor
Diane Sawyer - television journalist
Dick Van Dyke - actor
Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. - minister, civil rights activist
Elizabeth Dole - senator
Francois Mitterand - French President
James Garner - actor
John Wooden - basketball player, coach
Johnny Depp - actor
King David - King of Israel
Kirstie Alley - actress
Lauren Graham - actress
Margaret Mead - cultural anthropologist
Matthew McConaughey - actor
Mikhail Gorbachev - last leader of Soviet Union
Pete Sampras - tennis champion
Peyton Manning - NFL quarterback
Ralph Nader - attorney, political activist
Randy Quaid - actor
Ross Perot - businessman
Tommy Lee Jones - actor
William Aramony - United Way president
William Cullen Bryant - poet

ENFJ Career Matches

ENFJs are often happy with the following jobs which tend to match well with the

Mentor/Visionary personality.
Accountant/Auditor
Actor
Administrative Assistant
Administrator
Artist
Banker/Economist
Careers Counselor
Church Worker
Computer Specialist
Consultant
Designer
Diplomat
Editor
Engineer
Events Coordinator
Facilitator
Homemaker
Human Resources
Librarian
Musician
Nurse
Occupational Therapist
Politician
Project Manager
Psychiatrist
Psychologist/Counselor
Sales Representative
Scientist
Senior Manager
Social Worker
Teacher/Professor
Technical Specialist
Trainer
Writer

interesting? some facts are true. ;)

back for good

2008-08-19T21:35:00.003+08:00

i'm back.

i just came back from redang. best gile..
photos are available here;
http://www.flickr.com/photos/fadhilah/

i'll end my prp soon. yay!!!

to shade, asma' & hanin, selamat berjuang semasa MO
to aserque, selamat bertempur habis-habisan semasa HO & congrat on ur graduation.

workshop

2008-07-27T00:32:00.001+08:00

went for Medication Safety Workshop, in conjuction with 5th National Pharmacy R&D Conference. It was held in Putrajaya Hospital.

Flickr

2008-07-24T15:10:00.001+08:00

This is a test post from , a fancy photo sharing thing.

rising

2008-07-07T22:04:00.003+08:00

i want to rise out of rubble
i want to shine out of dust
i want to grow out of sand
i want to climb up the mountains
i want to fly across the sky
i want to emerge out of sea
i want to come up from the puddle
i want to stand up out of crowds

yes. i want. i'll will prove that u r wrong.
[hahaha psycho gile]

towards the end

2008-06-26T20:06:00.002+08:00

yeah. im' finishing too. my prp life will end by the end of this aug. great and pleased to hear the news rite? hahaha. i hv fill in the FRP form, the penempatan form, and soon the BTN and induction form. really hope that i will get posted in poison section if i were to stay at BPFK. if not, i rather go to hosp, cracking my mind doin clinical. store pharmacist sounds good too. hahaha, i want to be in store.

busy

2008-06-13T21:49:00.005+08:00

went to 9th ASEAN Consultative Committee for Standard and Quality (ACCSQ) meeting last week. it was held at sunway resort hotel & spa.

and next week, i'll be away, to JB for routine audit and gmp inspection. from 16th-19th june.

will come back later when i'm free...
;]

pharmacy matters

2008-05-31T23:18:00.002+08:00

1. hospital pharmacist
2. regulatory pharmacist
3. enforcement pharmacist
4. academia
5. industrial pharmacist
6. community pharmacist

1. hospital pharmacist
- life is 180 degrees different. when u r a student, u done clerking, the case presentation, the PBL etc. sometimes u'll find the case somewhat easy. but when u r in real health care setting [when u r working]. things are hard. u'll learn in hard way. don't be too confident that if u r an excellent student, that u'll shine in ur porfession. working in hospital, requires diligency, willingness to sacrify and patience. yes lots of patience. i've done my prp-ship in hospital selayang for my hospital section. well, i think i enjoy being in opd. and really love working in store. for the clinical, i was attached in ICU ward. there r so many thing to learn n covered within short time. ICU and tpn is an interesting fields too, futhermore, i took clinical nutirition as an elective when i was in UIA. it's fun. knowing that u can benefit and applied what u've learned. but i dun really like being in a ward supply and being in ward too. so i guess, a career as clinical pharmacist doesn't suit me well.

2. regulatory pharmacist
this is the field that suits those who love to do management. in the early days of ur working life as PRP, maybe u'll not get full exposure to do those things. u r more towards paperwork and documentation. some will find this job as even more boring than studying for exam. but hey, u get paid. unlike exam, it's either u pass or fail. some people says that, u'll not learn much if u do PRP in regulatory fields. well, let me correct them. PRP in the regulatory area will not learn much in clinical aspect, but surely BPFK doesn't assigned them to do prp in bpfk for nothing. they will learn something else. the part of social pharmacy, which also include the knowledge in management. they will take part in drug utilization review and evaluation. this will require them u get a wide knowledge in clinical trial, the protocols and the requirement. apart from that, they will involve in analysis, statistical data analysis and outcome reports. basically, the regulatory who approve new products before being marketed and used in our country, so we are responsible to go through every detail of the products.

3. enforcement pharmacist
well, i haven't been for enforcement yet. my rotation is in july. so, no commentfor this moment.

4. academia
thinking of taking masters. i.e law in pharmacy or anything pertaining to social pharmacy.

5. industrial pharmacist
did my industrial when i was in 3rd year. only 1 word enough to describe it.
tedious.

6. community pharmacist
interesting. but not my interest, up to this moment.

what was i thinking

2008-05-23T19:05:00.003+08:00

some ppl said that it is wasted to do prp-ship in bpfk. after 4 years of struggle in uia, to complete and hold a B.Pharm (hons), many of them rather not choose bpfk. u dun make full use of ur brain as a pharmacist there. u just do paper work and documentation. minor and silly work. u dun get urself bz like h*ll, unlike those who are doing their prp-ship in the hosp. u dun hv to do research, no clinical presentation. u just sit back and relax. chillin out here and there. wasted huh? yerp.
wasted. and bpfk is a suitable place for 3 types of ppl:

1. u definitely hate working in a hosp and its environment though u hv got talent in clinical - which rahizah n erina belongs to this category

2. u r obssesed with regulatory and legistlative matter - shaik falls in this category

or

3. u r incapable of working in hosp bcoz u r too lousy to work there/ ur clinical is very poor - could it be me?

crap

2008-05-21T21:14:00.002+08:00

yeah. just 3 months to go b4 i say good bye to my prp life.
hahaha. not that i really want to become frp [which means u hold greater responsibility], but at least i can get rid from stupid asssmnt scores in prp book.
i dread being frp bcoz i dread of experiencing the 'rebound'.
hahaha u now what i mean. when u were a prp u work and get urself bz like h*ll and lose weight, but once u r a frp, everything seems to be under control. that's when u start to put on extra subcutaneous adipose tissues. ;p
hahaaha ape la aku mengarut ni. ok, hafta stop.
bye,

work

2008-05-07T19:08:00.003+08:00

work. work. work. work. work. work. work.

arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

bosannye. same routine everyday for another 30 years!!!

i need a breakkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk !!!

nak g holiday... ;p

a tribute

2008-04-15T23:33:00.009+08:00

a tribute.

This entry is a tribute to my friends, if not all, few of them. For those who were not mentioned, I plead for an apology. This entry is for those who have added colours to my life for the past 4 years, during my stay in Kuantan. Those who are like pieces of jigsaw puzzle, when one piece is missing, the puzzle is incomplete and the picture in not perfect anymore.

2 weeks ago, we met. N, P, Z & F. Only S couldn’t make it because she’s working. Poor S, wish we could meet again soon. Well, it’s great, to meet again after a while. To recall, the last time I met P was during our convocation. Coming back home after the meeting, i suddenly realized that on the same date, a year ago, we had our AGD. It was a blast. Thanx to the other S, the S Jr. ;] for being such an excellent director to our AGD. Dear S Jr, i’m so touched with everything. And our final hours are definitely a night to remember. The final hours, what our AGD is referred as, for those who wonder. Kudos to u, S Jr. I dun see it as an effort, neither as a passion. It is beyond those. It takes a labour of passion and love to do like what u did. Only one word lingers in my mind, and I said to myself “this is love”, for every hard time and happy moments what we shared together as friends. Thanx, and sorry for not being able to help you when u r in hardship. It’s my fault, for being an ignorant. [u noe which issues I am referring to]. Kudos goes to ur committees too, the other N, the N Jr for being such a superb emcee of the night, to K Jr for being my fashion consultant, F Jr for working real hard arranging the hall, A Jr for the lovely invitation card, and to the rest. Thanx a lot.

But those sweet memories were our past. We are now in 2nd quarter of 2008. How time flies, how we change. For good, of course. Like I said before, to the N Jr, our present is always better than our past, and our future is something that we are looking forward to see. I told her “to enjoy these final hours” because the next time when friends meet, they always want to turn back to their final hours.

2nd quarter of 2008 means that we are towards the end of our PRPship. Lotsa things happen. Lotsa experiences gained. Lotsa salaries gone too, due to my lack of ability to restrain myself from being an impulse buyer ;p. during this PRPship, I met many happy faces, encounter many skilled and talented pharmacists, who opened up my mind that, with passion, nothing is impossible. Yes. Passion fuels inexhaustible energy. That u can be larger than life. I have seen many examples, I have read many stories about those who have passion in what they are doing. They set off from a humble beginning, but they end in a glorious way. Well, it’s how we end that matter, right?

Coming back to my topic, [I tend to gravitate towards small matters which later, lead me astray during conversation ;p].

Let’s start with my roommates. F Jr, K Jr, A Jr and N Jr. How did we meet? If my memory serves me right, it was N Jr who has enough guts to greet me during annual general meeting of ipha. Her other 2 friends who accompany her that night is none other than F Jr and K Jr. the second time? Was it when I and H [my classmate, from seremban] fetch N Jr to airport or after I came back from afternoon class when suddenly F Jr, who stands by her window when she greets me and asked me to come to their room to eat keropok lekor? Later, I learn to make friends with A Jr, their roommates. and soon enough, I get to know some other classmates of theirs, including S Jr. dear all, thank you so much for everything that u have bring about, and I’m so sorry for everything that I’d caused. No single word is suitable to describe how thankful I am. and even the plethora of words couldn’t cover all.

Moving on to my classmates. You girls are truly rock. Yeah, I still remember, it is shivering all over me, during my 1st day as a pharmacy student. Being a convert from medical school to pharmacy school is something unpleasant to be endured with, and to join a group of students who are a year younger doesn’t sounds enjoyable as well. Luckily, all of u managed to change my mind. Thot that I will never survive, and never be accepted, but my prejudice was totally wrong. All of u welcomed me with open arms. Though there were some ups and downs. They don’t really matter, because what we’d shared is all that count. To Z, thank you so much for everything and I’m so sorry for all the scene and issues that I’d caused towards the end of our stay. I’m looking forward to see who you’ll be, in the years to come. And so does to others. I can see many great talents among us. Let the time reveals. To N, thanx for coming and stopping me from making further destruction during that day, yes, THE day [u noe which 1]. Hadn’t u been there, maybe the door had been broken and smashed. Maybe the situation is even worse and can’t be fixed. To S and P thanks for being there and always keeping my days bright, and on my rainy days, u girls brighten it up with rainbows. To E, we shared the same brain wave and sentiment. Well, great mind thinks alike. Hehehe after all, we are both Pisceans. To H, thanx for everything too. ;] and to others, though I couldn’t mentioned the name of every one of you, believe me, all are of equal importance. ;] 2 of them, have become my housemates. M the grace, and R the cool. We had 1 new housemate, H/Y the cute [frens of R]. ;]

It would be very awful if I forgot about my old frens from medical school because wise man use to say, if old books are best to read, then old friends are best to keep . F the owner of kembara and A the scullbox82 are among my earlies and loyal friends that i met in kuantan. ;] not to forget A the owner of very enVIOS car and S of the sungai petani.. ;] thanx for everything too. May all of us succeed. InsyaALLAH.

2003-2007, those were the days. When we are still young. When we make mistakes and learn from them. There is a nice quote from a friend of mine. he said “life is an art of drawing without eraser. Jadi lukislah sebaik mungkin dan seikhlas hati”. Very inspiring and thoughtful indeed.

Well, let’s us focus on our future. Too much of past-oriented and keep regretting the past bring us to nowhere. So stop regretting, but grab the present n focus on ur future. u cannot change the past, but u can shape ur future. Adopt the concept of kaizen [Japanese for change for better]. Aim for betterment. We need to change gradually at our own pace. Something which is constant last longer than anything at abrupt. But no matter how far we went, or how high we climbed, don’t ever forget our roots, for it shall be our key to the past. The one without a past will has no history. Without history, one will not learn. And one who does not learn makes no victory. ;]

[sorry for broken language]

nauseated

2008-04-07T21:02:00.002+08:00

i hv migraine lately. can't tolerate much work. to aserque & fuzah, all the best 4 pro xm. to others, selamat bekerja. ;]

i'm going back, to my sanctuary on 11th april ;]

happy birthday to me myself & i

2008-03-22T17:36:00.005+08:00

10 march 2008 [secret recipe S17, pj] with working colleagues

11th march 2008 : with x-classmates from IIUM

11th march 2008 : the secret recipe's brownies

11th march : pizza hut SACC

20 march 2008 : nailis's uptown - wif housemates

i celebrated my birthday asmost 3 times. and the past 2 weeks have been 2 weeks of eating heavenly. ;P

no point

2008-03-04T22:17:00.005+08:00

u have everythings which i have to live without...

a portions of lyrics from dun-know-what-title. heard this while driving.
let's us reflect to our daily life, sometimes we long for many things in our life without realising that ALLAH is ALL-just. sometimes we must ponder back and be grateful for what we have right now. ALLAH is ALL-knowing, only HE, knows the best for us.
the best, might not appear to be the things that we want, but have we ever wonder that, all what we have right now is everything that other people ever wanted all their life?

so, be grateful.

On no soul doth ALLAH place a burden greater than it can bear. [2:286]

back for good

2008-02-24T13:09:00.000+08:00

i'm goin back tonite. cuti rehat from 25th till 29th feb. ;]

contented

2008-02-16T20:15:00.014+08:00

last wednesday i had lunch with my ex-schoolmate. an ex primary schoolmate, way back in srk zainab 2. she's now a pharmacist in selayang. we had a GREAT time. bongkar balik cite² lama, gossip lama. hehehe cite yg 14 tahun dulu punye hal. aku sampai tak habiskan makanan, padahal aku lapar gile sebelum tu.

thanx 4 helping me reminiscing the past, sampai the whole day aku senyum sorang² lepas tu. hahaha ;P tp sayang sempat borak kejap je. thanx Zulawati. tak sangka, jumpe balik kat hosp selayang. dunia ni kecik je ye. nanti bile² bole borak lagi, ajak Has sekali ;]

...

2008-02-09T01:32:00.000+08:00

i envy you. u r free to have what i can't have.

hoping

2008-02-03T20:15:00.000+08:00

is this the end of everything or its just the beginning of sumthing new...

it has been a rather busy 2 weeks since i was attached to icu ward. to be in icu ward wasn't a good n memorable experience to me. i'm trying my best to survive. to make thing worse, things outside the icu ward wasn't that lovely either. things are hard. and ppl r heartless. i need a break. i quit. it just bring me more dissapointment.

aiming for a pair of eyeshades

2008-01-27T07:46:00.000+08:00

figure: oakley crosshair s

i went to the curve yesterday, i came to discover this ladies aviator sunglasses.

kewl... super kewl. but the price is rm5**.

it's oakley, CROSSHAIR S model . i can't expect it to be below rm200 ;p

the frame is perfect for smaller faces. for a bigger face, u might want to choose another model, that is Crosshair. The aviator styling comes from fly-by-wire CAD/CAM engineering and it gives HIGH DEFINITION OPTICS. It also offers superior impact resistance and 100% UV filtering.

figure: serengeti comopolitan

then i came to another brand - SERENGETI eyewear .

this is a worth sunglasses to buy. because of its features and specifications. it has photocromic [light adjusting technology] where the lens darkness will change as it expose to different intensity of light. it also has spectral control technology where it enables u to see a crisper colour and images. the last features is, the polarization, the glare reduction technology. the price range is rm500 and above.

figure : serengeti pisa

p/s: sume mahal. frust.

before i end my stay

2008-01-26T09:52:00.000+08:00

life and people around me are so unfair yesterday. i just can't stand it any longer. the way it treated me. it's so cruel, heartless and mean. it's a crime to my mental faculty. it just makes me sick again. i hate it the most. i truly hate it that i feel like it want bang my head onto the wall, becuse it just makes me crazy again. it's so unfair and unjust. people are always like that, they love to take advantage of others. they will never appreciat and treasure anything at all. i'm tired. this so sickening. i just want to end my stay. yerp, people will choose only great people, the one who has established their career to hang out with. people like me, at the age of 26, and just started my prp with no clues at all in clinical care setting are just like a piece of dirt.

this is life, and it hurts.

this is

2008-01-25T09:49:00.000+08:00

this so cruel
this is heartless
this is so unfair

ok, i get it. great ppl mingles with great ppl only.

. thinkr . | by Fadhilah H

Clear Lake Islamic﻿ Center

twenty-twelve

How to Unlock the iJannah - Suhaib Webb

i'm back

trash talker

kosong

good bye 2010

rainy days (in 2010)

2010 in review part I

i still cry

void

i am a superwoman

look after you

time for myself

[sepi]

i wish

the.life.story.

time is running out

the things that i would say before i go

Cold...bitter... [a tribute to Zarina]

Al-Fatihah to Zarina Abdul Ghafir

1431H & 2010

lucky

sand arts

i'm back

chill

why oh why

beauty lies in the eyes of beholder

yang satu

apa yang menghantarmu pulang

mixed feeling

photography

promises are made

Majlis Pertunangan Erina

VisionMongers: Making a Life and a Living in Photography (Voices That Matter)

1st National Scientific Meeting of Renal Pharmacy

1st National Scientific Meeting of Renal Pharmacy,Holiday Villa, Subang.10-11th July 2009.

tanpa tajuk

Majlis Perkahwinan Mallissa & Azizuddin

a note

macro lens

time flies

new dlsr from Nikon

induksi

Cooliris

my 25 random things

it's been a while

brains and heart

walking down the memory lane

where flowers bloom, so does hope.

a day with nature

fitnah

sailing across the vast ocean

the story

in review

the idiot box

WORK : The World In Photographs

India Gate

maya ajak makan

night out

to write or not to

indoor shots

the gate

Baiti & Fairose at Kuala Perlis

Taj Mahal again

locked

arts and my nikon D60

workshop

eventful weekend

IIUM grad in newspaper

photos of india

just came back from India

India

GLP course

care

dragons

Bahasa

a year has passed

my personality info

Clear Lake Islamic Center

1st National Scientific Meeting of Renal Pharmacy,
Holiday Villa, Subang.
10-11th July 2009.